The Gerard Team Blog: I Miss My Dad

I Miss My Dad

It's been a week now since he passed and we had the funeral yesterday. It feels like society expects me to get back to normal; back to work and getting things done.

I suppose there's a cathartic aspect to that; but before I do, I wanted you to know about my dad.

He pushed the world to be a better place and as an Episcopal Priest for over 30 years, he personally helped many people celebrate good times, get through tough times, and develop themselves spiritually.

While he was Episcopal, he loved surrounding himself with clergy from other denominations and spiritual leaders from other religions as well. The outreach he did for all people in the communities where we lived was well known.

He was both formal and informal at the same time. I'm still amazed that he could so easily feel at home in any group of people. Despite his love of classical music and four syllable words, he was really a blue collar guy at heart and felt best helping those whose voices usually went unheard.

He enjoyed laughing at himself and was a frequent target of roasts from his friends. His parishioners once bought him a hat with two bills that read, I'm their leader, which way did they go?

Most of all though, he was a man I could go to with a problem or a challenge and he never told me what I should do. He simply helped me understand my options and figure out what direction I felt was best.

I'll miss the conversations, his calm presence he had with my children, and the way he could find the best movies to watch and books to read. One of his favorite poets was Walt Whitman. I read the final stanza from Song of Myself yesterday at his funeral and have placed it here below for you as well.

52

The spotted hawk swoops by and accuses me, he complains of my gab and my loitering.

 

I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,

I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

 

The last scud of day holds back for me,

It flings my likeness after the rest and true as any on the shadow'd wilds,

It coaxes me to the vapor and the dusk.

 

I depart as air, I shake my white locks at the runaway sun,

I effuse my flesh in eddies, and drift it in lacy jags.

 

I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,

If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.

 

You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,

But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,

And filter and fibre your blood.

 

Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,

Missing me one place search another,

I stop somewhere waiting for you.

 

Comment balloon 83 commentsNate Gerard • February 03 2011 11:43AM

Comments

Nate, I am so sorry for your loss.

Take your time. Hang in there. He will always be with you.

Posted by Lydie Ouellet Dickinson, Realtor (Realty Executives Tri County, Bellingham MA) almost 8 years ago

Thanks Lydie, I appreciate that. I said some of this in his eulogy but wanted it out there on the web.

Posted by Nate Gerard, CDPE, East Metro Twin Cities Realtor (Keller Williams Premier) almost 8 years ago

Great commemorative, I wrote one about my Dad recently and though it's been 10 years, not a week goes by that he is on my mind!

Posted by Russell Lewis, Broker,CLHMS,GRI (Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

Sorry to hear about you loosing your dad... hope you have many wonderful memories and comfort you. 

Posted by Sarah Moore, We Open More Doors! (Southern Homes of the Carolinas) almost 8 years ago

My condolences on the loss of your father.  I can tell you that while time does heal, the pain never completely goes away... it just changes it's tenor.  It morphs from a sharp pain, to a dull throbbing pain, to a soft quiet pain, and if you're fortunate to a kind melancholy twinge.  But never quite gone.

Posted by Alan May, Helping you find your way home. (Coldwell Banker Residential) almost 8 years ago

Nate

Bless you my brother. Thank you for helping me remember what's important today. I strive to be the Dad you speak of above. I am also going to call my dad today and tell him I miss and love him.

My dad is moving away soon about a thousand miles from here. His health is poor and I feel sad that I know his time is near but he will be so far away that I will not have the opportunity to spend as much time with him as I do now.

Thanks Nate

Posted by Chris "The Loan Ranger" McBrearty, NMLS 274079, FHA, VA, USDA, Loan Officer and Educator (People's Mortgage Company) almost 8 years ago

HI NATE.  I miss my mom .. just went through this.  It's tough. This is beautiful. -- G

Posted by Gabrielle Kamahele Rhind, Broker/Owner (KGC Properties LLC, Tucson Property Management & Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

He sounds like a wonderful man, and fortunately had a very positive influence on you and I am sure countless others, as Alan #5 said the pain never completely goes away, but it changes and becomes a pain you actually live with and smile when reflecting upon.

Posted by John Marshall - FORE!, Specializing in Golf Course Properties (The K Company Realty) almost 8 years ago

I'm sorry for your loss Nate.  I know the hat with two bills which you speak of....very funny indeed. 

Posted by Kerrie La Guardia, Let it Rain! (ActiveRain, Community Manager) almost 8 years ago

Thanks for the reminder, Nate. Good luck to you and take your time!

Posted by Chris and Berna Sloan, Tooele UT (Group 1 Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

Thank you all for your sentiment. For those of you who've lost a parent, I'm finding we're in an unenviable support group. For those who haven't, make the most of whatever time you do have whether they're close or far.

Chris, it's funny that you say you're striving to be the dad I speak of since I felt like I needed to more like dad now that he's gone - a strange sense of additional responsibility to the world.

Posted by Nate Gerard, CDPE, East Metro Twin Cities Realtor (Keller Williams Premier) almost 8 years ago

Yes life does go on but our parents are very special people in our lives and we have lots to honor them for. My Dad passed over 15 years ago now and every now and then something just pops into my mind about him. At least now it always brings a smile. Your grief is allowed forever, but the pains in time will fade.

Posted by Corinne Guest, Barrington Home Buyer Advocate (Barrington Realty Company) almost 8 years ago

Sorry for your loss, Nate.  You were lucky to have had such a positive experience in your life, you'll always have the experience to fall back on.

Posted by Kathy Kenney, Realtor - Princeton & Central NJ Homes for Sale (Keller Williams, Princeton, NJ) almost 8 years ago

Nate,

 I am so sorry for you loss.  These things take time.

Posted by Karen Pannell, Owensboro KY Real Estate -270-903-2167 Homes, Cond (Real Living / Home Realty) almost 8 years ago

HI Nate - I am so sorry for the loss of your father, take your time with your grieving process.

Posted by Sharon Paxson, Newport Beach Real Estate (Compass) almost 8 years ago

Nate,  

My condolences go out to you.  Your Dad will always be with you.  Take good care of yourself during these difficult times.  

Posted by Dawn Marie Anderson, Broker Associate, GRI, SRF (John R Wood Island Real Estate Inc 239.410.7677) almost 8 years ago

Nate, I am so sorry for your loss.  The pain and tears will lessen with time and you will be comfortable with old routines. Until then, allow yourself the sorrow.  Soon, the happy memories will replace the horrific days of his passing and all the raw emotions that the days to follow brings with it.  Those memories are fresh and painful but will ease into a place that you will find yourself smiling more than crying,  He sounds like he was a wonderful, warm and fun person! Hugs!

In 21 days, my dad will have been gone for 20 years. Sometimes it seems impossible that he is gone. 

Posted by Diana Hoyt (Lakes Region Buchanan Group, Ossipee, NH) almost 8 years ago

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad.  He sounds like a wonderful man and father, honour him with your memories.

Posted by Anonymous almost 8 years ago

Nate . .my condolences. . I lost my dad too and I share your pain

Posted by Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group, 301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA (Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001) almost 8 years ago

Don't worry about what 'society' wants you to do.  Just look at all the people you've touched with this blog post, keep following your own instincts and heart. 

Posted by Joetta Fort, Independent Broker, Homes Denver to Boulder (The DiGiorgio Group) almost 8 years ago

Nate, You have a treasured dad and it is soon to just be back on board.  Too young.  My dad died at 46 and that was so hard.  I still miss him and think of him everyday.  I use his name as a password too so I think of him everytime i use the password.  I know I will see him in heaven and so will you one day.

Posted by Pat Laracy Baker, Realtor, Green, ABR, Holliston, Massachusetts (Realty Executives Boston West) almost 8 years ago

This is great counsel. It reflects much of what I've heard from close friends so it's good to know I'm on the right track.

The consensus seems to be to take it easy and allow some time for grief. Then I can feel good enough to fondly remember all the great times we had together.

Also, thanks AR for the feature. I really needed my colleagues to see this. How did I know that you folks would be so supportive?!

Posted by Nate Gerard, CDPE, East Metro Twin Cities Realtor (Keller Williams Premier) almost 8 years ago

I am so sorry about your Dad. I know that he is looking at your life and so pleased that you are sharing him with your peers and friends. What a great compliment to him. The best thing you can ever do is to try to be as good to your family as he was to his. You will never stop missing him, but it will become easier. If you pattern your life as he did, and seek God, you will see your Dad again one day. What a day of rejoicing that will be!!!!

I hope my sons will be as proud of me as you are your Dad, some day.

Karen

Posted by Karen McAlister Jordan (Hardy Realty) almost 8 years ago

Hi Nate, Thanks for sharing a little about your Dad and I am really sorry for the sad time you are going through.  I just posted a piece that might be helpful to you...its about an experience I had when I lost my Dad...hope it helps.

http://activerain.com/blogsview/2120411/compassion-at-the-doctor-s-office-pay-it-forward

Posted by Brin Realty Associates Team At Bean Group, Amherst NH homes and Southern NH real estate (Bean Group | Brin Realty Associates) almost 8 years ago

Nate,

How beautiful.  Don't be afraid of the pain and the tears, it is cleansing the grief takes a lot of time and comes in waves.  I lost my dad last June, it's so profound to think he is gone.  Thank you for posting and I am reblogging out of respect for you and your dad. 

Posted by Melinda Pearson (Prudential Serls Prime Properties) almost 8 years ago

Mom left us 1 year ago... Jan 18, 2010. 

Writing about him and talking about him are good ways to deal with the loss, the "missing". 

Thank you for writing this.  We need to all be aware that we can leave here at any time or a family member or loved one. 

May you feel your dad's presence as you go thorugh the days ahead, knowing that soem day you'll see him again.

 

Posted by 1 ~Judi & Don Barrett & Chassy Eastep - Integrity, BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK (Integrity Real Estate Services 118 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745) almost 8 years ago

I thank you for being strong enough to put up such a personal post.  I too am working through a loss at this time and find solice that if there is a Heaven they are watching us and knowi how much we loved and love them still.

Keep strong and well.

KB

Posted by KB almost 8 years ago
My condolences, Nate. To everything there is a time and purpose under heaven. Take whatever time you need, and only you know what that is. Carry your dad's memory with you. I am grateful that I can still hear my dad's voice and laughter within me.
Posted by Mike Miguelez (Keller Williams Realty - DTC) almost 8 years ago

I lost my Dad in 1994 and I miss him everyday.  But it will get better

Posted by Jim O'Donnell (Raleigh Cary Realty) almost 8 years ago

Nate, sorry you lost your dad and best friend. Sounds like though he did a great job teaching you how to live.

Posted by Mike Frazier, Northwest Tennessee Realtor (Carousel Realty of Dyer County) almost 8 years ago

Nate, I am very sad to hear about your father but you provided us all with a glimpse into his life with your wonderful tribute to him and I loved that poem too. I can tell there was much love and honor on your part for him. I wish you and your family the best going forward.

Posted by Gary Woltal, Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth (Keller Williams Realty) almost 8 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss.  Take all the time that you need. There are  no rules on grieving. Jesus wept.

Posted by Joni Bailey, Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR® (Berkshire Hathaway Home Services - Anderson Properties) almost 8 years ago

What a nice tribute to your father. You will always have the memories. It sounds like he touched many. I lost my dad when I was 5. I still think about him often, not with sadness, but fondness. Use those fond memories to get you through. Thanks for writing the beautiful piece.

Posted by Kristi DeFazio, Colorado Springs Rea lEstate 719-459-5468 (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 8 years ago

Nate I can definately feel your pain.. I lost my dad this past summer... He would have been 50 in November and him and my mom would have celebrated thier 28th year wedding anniversary in January. Coping with his loss is the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with, and i'm not sure that pain will ever goes away, it just gets easier to deal over time. You just have to continue to live you life each day knowing that you are still making him proud and being the best possible person you can be.

That is very beautiful tribute to your father, I am sure he was very proud of you. Just remember life has to go on, and just live your life knowing that you are still making him proud.

My deepest sympathies defiantely go out to you and your family.

Posted by Stacey Smith, Your Orange County Beach Cities Realtor (Keller Williams Realty) almost 8 years ago

Sorry to hear of your loss....I know your dad will be with you everyday looking out for you !

Posted by Cory Barbee, Broker (760) 563-4022 almost 8 years ago

Nate - it's been 10 years since my mom passed, and I must say that your choice in poem was spot-on. Beautiful.

While the intensity of missing your father will diminish over time, the longing will always be there. Use his memory for good in your life and you'll always make him proud.

Hugs ....

Posted by Kim Dean, d + b real estate, McKinney, TX REALTOR Broker/Own (www.RealFamilyRealEstate.com) almost 8 years ago

The poem you recited is amazing.  It's a beautiful poem.

I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,

If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles

You'll miss your dad always now, as those of use who have lost our parents do -- everyday.  But, rejoice in the life they had, and the life they gave you.  This is always the sad part of life, but a part of life we can't escape, so there's a reason for passing on.  Words can be empty now, and coming from ones that don't know you, or your relationship with your father.  We can only sympathize and have empathy for your lose as coming from our own place of lose.  In that, we offer solace, and virtual hugs.

Posted by Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED (RETIRED / State License is Inactive) almost 8 years ago

My condolences...I lost my dad 5 years ago...it struck me that the world didn't pause for a moment to acknowledge his passing.

Posted by John Zappia, Maine Custom Realty (Maine Custom Realty) almost 8 years ago

Nate, My father (my broker) has that same hat!

I'm sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort to you & your family during this time.

Posted by Angela Clark, CRS, Realtor, Broker (Tony Clark REALTORS) almost 8 years ago

Nate, I'm so sorry.  I lost my Dad last year and, although I can't say that I know what you are going thru (its unique to each of us), I do know the struggle with defining normal in a world that is no longer normal for you.  Something in the fabric is fundamentally changed and no matter how much you are able to 'buck up' and "get back to it", etc, it takes time to completely reframe your life without this fundamental piece.  Take that time for yourself, on your own timeline and in your own way.  Just get thru each hour and know that there are many of us who are supporting you in our own little way, all across this country.

Posted by Dee Bundy, Sell Smart, Buy Wise & Live Well in Nrthn Colorado (Fort Collins Realtor @ C3 Real Estate Solutions) almost 8 years ago

Nate, That's a nice tribute to your Dad. I'm pretty certain he was proud of the way you developed. I imagine he lives on through you. Peace.

Posted by Wayne Johnson, San Antonio REALTOR, San Antonio Homes For Sale (Coldwell Banker D'Ann Harper REALTORS®) almost 8 years ago

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like not only were you blessed with a great dad -- but he was blessed with a good son.

Posted by Richard Strahm, Lansdale and North Penn Real Estate (American Foursquare Realty) almost 8 years ago

Sorry for your loss.

Posted by Lisa Glowacki, Real Estate Broker - RI & MA (Lisa Glowacki - Rhode Island & Massachusetts) almost 8 years ago

I'm sorry for your loss and I know what it is to lose your DAD/Best friend and Role Model - I lost my DAD - 10 years ago and it's not an easy thing. I miss those moments with my DAD and I can only pray for your strength - Your Dad sounded like a great dad and you're a very blessed son.

Posted by Graziella Bruner, Associate Broker - Serving Wayne & Oakland County (NCS Premier Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

Nate~ So sorry to hear of your father's passing.  I remember the day my father died, it struck me how the world kept moving at a time when I felt it should stand still. Know that someday the tears will turn to laughter and wonderful memories.

Posted by Kim McMahon (Executive Realty Group) almost 8 years ago

Nate...

My condolences to you and your family. The Whitman stanzas were quite moving.

Posted by Richard Weisser, Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional (Richard Weisser Realty) almost 8 years ago

Of course you miss your "dad" and it's easy to see why. Take as much time as you need to heal the pain of his passing. No one can put a " time limit" on it for you. My father passed, then my mother one year later, then my husband of 36 yrs 2 yrs after that, so I know the emptiness of feeling that loss. As you go forward remember him, as you've done here, with much love as the wonderful person he most certain appears to have been through your loving words.   

Posted by MaryAnn Mills (RE/MAX Masters) almost 8 years ago

5 years, 1 month, and 12 days I lost my Dad too.  You will never forget and that is the way it should be.  There will things that happen and your first reaction will be to tell Dad...still.  What I would give for just 10 minutes...but as long as you never forget, he lives.

Posted by John Woodward, Broker - Sarasota Real Estate (Sarasota Real Estate Group) almost 8 years ago

Hi Nate, To answer your question about how supportive AR can be, it is all about family. Extended and sometimes seemingly far away, be assured you never walk alone in the Rain. I am expert in testimony that you don't. My sincerest sympathy in the loss of your Dad. He is absent but never gone since you are of him and he lives and loves through you always. He would be most proud to call you, Son.

Posted by William Johnson, San Diego Real Estate Voice, GRI CRS e-Pro CDPE (RE/MAX Associates) almost 8 years ago

Thank you all for the compliments on my tribute. Dad was a great guy. I pray that he'll be the one to show me the way when I die and more immediately I pray for God to give his soul a great job to do.

He had a number of strokes 6 years ago and was mostly confined to wheelchair. Before that he was the kind of guy who liked to have five more things to do than he had time for - something all of us can understand. So I hope he's busy wherever heaven is. He wouldn't want it any other way.

Posted by Nate Gerard, CDPE, East Metro Twin Cities Realtor (Keller Williams Premier) almost 8 years ago

Nate, so sorry for your loss.  My dad passed in 2002.  Though we were not close, I still dearly love him much.  It was definitely weird to lose my father.  I felt aimless for many years.  In 2006, a dear friend of mine invited me on a men's leadership weekend.  That particular weekend I was greatly encouraged.  It was a father son weekend and I vividly remember sitting in a circle with about 125 men as they shared transparently about their fathers.  To this day, I still remember a 75 year old grandfather who said "there is nothing like losing a parent, a father".  You are blessed to have such a great model of manhood (father, leader, man).   

Posted by Joseph Ray Diosana, Diosana ~ Houston Area ~ 713-965-4338 (Keller Williams Realty [Harris County]) almost 8 years ago

It IS helpful to remember out loud. I am blessed to still have both parents, but painfully lost two siblings. Sometimes it just helped me to write about them. May you have healing moments and continue with fond memories.

Posted by Lori Cain, Midtown Tulsa Real Estate Top Producer (eXp Realty) almost 8 years ago

Nate - I am so sorry for your loss.  Your dad sounded like a wonderful man.  Consider yourself lucky to have been brought up by such a great dad.  That's what helps me. I was just plain LUCKY and blessed to have had an outstanding father, and I have been comforted by that every day since I have been without him.

Posted by Barbara Altieri, REALTOR-Fairfield County CT Homes/Condos For Sale (RealtyQuest/Kinard Realty Group, Fairfield and New Haven County CT Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

Nate, Sorry for your loss. In time your pain will get better. My father left here in 1997. I often think about him. 

Posted by Frank Rubi, FrankRubiRealEstate.com (Frank Rubi Real Estate, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Nate, Nice tribute to your dad.  He sounds like someone I would have enjoyed knowing.  Jack

Posted by Jack Tenold, Conventional and Reverse (Caliber Home Loans, Inc. NMLS 15622) almost 8 years ago

Nate, sorry to hear of your loss.  My father passed away in 1993 and I still think of him everyday.  He sounds like he was  truly great person.

Posted by Ellen Clark almost 8 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss! You will be in my thoughts!

Posted by Ryan Case, 877-828-0710 (SCA Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

So sorry to hear of your loss -- all the best to you and your family -- take care of yourself.

Posted by Bob & Carolin Benjamin, East Phoenix Arizona Homes (Benjamin Realty LLC) almost 8 years ago

Nate,

My condolences on your Dad's passing.  If I may share a link to a page on my site, I put this up just last week for a friend who lost his dad.

Stick with the video for about 40 seconds and the video should play on it's own.

It's been almost 20 years since my dad passed.  This give me something to look forward to.

http://www.housewebdesign.net/html/i-sure-miss-you.html

God Speed

Posted by Don Hintz (2D-enterprises / HAUS Design, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Wonderful post, Nate.  I lost my Dad almost exactly three years ago.  Your post is a wonderful way to honor a God-honoring man.  Hope to "hear" from you again in the future.

Posted by Ed Gillespie almost 8 years ago

Very sorry for your loss, Nate.  

I really admire you for sharing something so personal and difficult with the community.  

Thank you.

Posted by Kris Mon (RtownLiving) almost 8 years ago

Hi Nate. I am very close to my father. I am blessed that he is still alive. His birthday was a few days ago. Hope all gets better for you.

Posted by Lana Robbins Realtor ® Licensed Real Estate Broker, Licensed in Florida and Washington (Aloha Kai Real Estate) almost 8 years ago

Nate, I'm blessed to still have both of my parents and can only imagine the suffering you are going through.  The Irish in me always turns to song and I couldn't help but look for this video when I read your post.  God bless you and your family during this trying time.  John McDermott- The Old Man

Posted by Joe Kenny, Better Than Your Average Joe (Realty Executive Midwest) almost 8 years ago

Nate it will get better over time.  Its one of the most painful experiences ever to loose a parent.  It was a beautiful and loving story you wrote about your father.  He sounded like a wonderful wonderful man and will be missed by many. 

When my mom died I laid in bed for a month and then like magic, I realized she would always be with me.  I couldn't call her physically on the phone but I did realize we were one some how. 

God bless and confort you during this time!

Posted by Shannon Thomas, Managing Broker, E-Pro, ABR,SRS, SFR (Selling Indy Metro, LLC) almost 8 years ago

Nate what a blessing you had such an upstanding Dad. I found out my Dad had cancer 2 days before Christmas. It certainly puts things in perspective. May the heavens send you peace and the fond memories weigh on your mind the most.

Posted by Sherry Chastain, Realtor, Selling Homes, Lake Properties,Luxury Homes,Short Sales (Hendersonville, Nashville, Old Hickory, Lebanon Tennessee) almost 8 years ago

I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy losing someone close to you. I loved reading about him. Thanks for sharing.

Posted by Crystal Pina, Remax Professional Associates (774.289.5521) almost 8 years ago

Hi, Nate:  I'd like to join all of the others here in expressing my condolences for your loss.  I also share in the sentiments of many that it's best to be thankful for the time you had with him.  Whether the time be long or short, none of us know the duration we'll have with one another.  I'm 42 and my dad will hit 62 next month- but I grew up thinking he had been killed after being shot down in Viet Nam.  I found him on Thanksgiving night 2006, and while I'm surely thankful to have found him and for the relationship we're continuing to build, nothing will ever replace the 38 years we've lost.  In closing sentiment and thinking of your father, please find a bit of comfort in the sweet words long sung by congregations of many faiths- "The Lord has promised good to me, His word my hope secures.  He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures".  And also trust that carries on as we pass from this world to the next.

Posted by Dennis Burgess, Orlando Property Manager and Realtor (AmeriTeam Property Management) almost 8 years ago

Nate: 

I want to express my condolences for the loss of your father.  He must have been a great dad.  Its hard loosing a parent.  Think of the good times and that he loved you very much.

 

Dennis:

How wonderful that you found your Dad after so long.  Good luck to you and your Dad.

Posted by Evelyn Kennedy, Alameda, Real Estate, Alameda, CA (Alain Pinel Realtors) almost 8 years ago

Nate, So sorry for your loss. 

I lost my dad a couple of years ago, living here made it hard, as he has always been in Denmark. Unfortunately I was 3 days late, I had not seen him for over a year when he passed. 

This Christmas my wife - Whom I might add is an angel - put out a picture of him along with all our christmas cards, that was a nice touch, now the cards are down, but the picture remains right there in the kitchen. 

It will be easier. 

Posted by Terkel Sørensen, Realtor, 951.805.0773 , Bank owned and Short Sales (Real Estate Places) almost 8 years ago

Nate - you brought me to tears. I am so sorry about your Dad. He sounds like a truly wonderful man and as hard as it is, and will continue to be, try as hard as you can to be thankful for the time you had together. I'm sure he would be so proud of the man you have become. I lost my Dad at age 59 of sleep apnea, it was the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life.  The pain comes and goes in waves - one day, you'll think you're doing fine and it'll just hit you. Please take good care of yourself and know that your friends here on Activerain are praying for you and thinking about you. It really does help to remember all the great times you've shared - nobody can ever take that away from you.  God Bless!

Posted by Julianne O'Reilly, Syracuse New York Real Estate (Syracuse Listings) almost 8 years ago

Memories of your Dad will live forever in your heart Nate, and in the hearts of those who loved him.  Take all the time you need...........my Dad passed away two years ago and sometimes it's harder the longer they are gone.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Posted by Roger D. Mucci, Lets shake things up at your home today! (Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092) almost 8 years ago

Nate, what a special tribute to your father.  You were brave to stand and declare your love by reciting that beautiful poem.  And you know that your father was listening!  My Dad passed 15 years ago, and the grief subsides, but the memories stay strong.  Take your time, and cry when you need to.  Hot showers are the best place to let it out!

Posted by Marybeth Beard, Experienced licensed Realtor in Louisville, KY (Re/Max Associates) almost 8 years ago

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  Your Father sounds like a wonderful person.

Posted by Tim Tanz, St Louis Real Estate (Platinum Realty) almost 8 years ago

I miss my dad too. I'm sorry for your loss.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Kevin Nash - Germantown WI

Posted by Kevin Nash, ABR, CSRS (Shorewest Realtors, Metro Milwaukee) almost 8 years ago

The older you get, the appreciation of your Dad only increases. And you will always feel his presence, know he is not suffering. But grieving, like prayer, is a personal, your own time table process, operation that is tough. You and he were lucky. And you both have faith, hope, peace.

Posted by Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573, Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker (MOOERS REALTY) almost 8 years ago

I am sorry for your loss Nate and know how you feel.  I take comfort in knowing that my earthly dad is with my heavenly Father and will be waiting for me when I too make it to my real home.

Posted by Karen Otto, Plano Home Staging, Dallas Home Staging, www.homes (Home Star Staging) almost 8 years ago

Nate,

Sorry for your loss, I lost my dad about 4 years ago unexpectedly and it's tough when you loose anyone close to you.  But you know what it's not like you will not see him again, ya maybe not now but eventually you will.  Plus you it sounds like your dad instilled in you some great values and that's priceless.  It does get easier but you never forget, life is short and it can be taken away at any minute so cherish every day as they say as if it were your last.  I wish you all the best.

Posted by Scott Smith (Primary Residential Mortgage) almost 8 years ago

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your dad.

I'm sorry for your loss. Your right though, sometimes you just need to say things out loud.

We are all connected in one way or another. We feel, we hurt, we cry and we mourn. We help each other through life by sharing our thoughts and feeelings and being there for each other .  

Grief has no time, I only know it lasts a long time.  

Tomorrow will be 4 years since I lost my mom. It's been 21 years for my dad. I feel like an orphan.

My friend shared these words with me today and I would like to share them with you.

You and I both know that our hearts will always ache, it doesn't get any easier, we just learn to live with the ache. Do whatever you need to do to get through the day, but don't forget to cry.. 

Eileen Taylor | Eileen Taylor Home & Design

Posted by Eileen Taylor almost 8 years ago

Nate,

I am so sorry to hear about your father's passing. He sounds like a he is and was a wonderful human being. Godspeed.

Posted by Greg Nino, Houston, Texas (RE/MAX Compass, formerly RE/MAX WHP) almost 8 years ago

These are such amazing comments. I end up crying every time I come back to read more.

I think I feel that way since I'm reminded of what an empty space is left in my life with dad gone AND at the same time I also so greatly appreciate all your comments and links.

I'm so happy to be a part of this community. Thank you for sharing this process with me, I have so much gratitude for all of you!

Posted by Nate Gerard, CDPE, East Metro Twin Cities Realtor (Keller Williams Premier) almost 8 years ago

Hi Nate,

First- I'm sorry for your loss.  Second- I suspect "normal" is gone forever.  Your father, I feel sure, as a priest, led an extrodinary life.  He choose God's path for him as a fisher of men and I feel sure saved countless souls in 30 years.  I am fortunate enough to still have both my parents.  My father is an 11 year cancer survivor and I take no day for granted.  My prayers are with you and your family.  May God's love see you through.

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